


Withered Instalove

by grand_mephy



Series: Rivals in a Dangerous Spacetime [5]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Comedy, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, M/M, No Spoilers, Oneupmanship, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 09:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12861609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grand_mephy/pseuds/grand_mephy
Summary: "Please tell me that came from a sticker."Ouma's grin does not put Saihara at ease,at all. In fact it makes him want to sink to the floor and rethink his thought process when it comes to making friends, because why. "Why," he asks the indigo-haired prankster, "would youdo thisto yourself?"(Or: It's Valentine's Day and two idiots ruin the sanctity of soulmate identifying tattoos.)





	1. Trick The Trick The Valentine

 

"Please tell me that came from a sticker."

Ouma's grin does not put Saihara at ease,  _at all_. In fact it makes him want to sink to the floor and rethink his thought process when it comes to making friends, because why. " _Why,_ " he asks the indigo-haired prankster, "would you  _do this_  to yourself?"

Ouma pulls down the sleeve of his jacket, hiding the tiny cursive print under his arm, and says, "Well, Valentine's Day is tomorrow."

"Valentine's Day?  _That's_  your excuse?"

"It's not an excuse, Saihara-chan—it's an opportunity!" Ouma sniffles. "And I thought you'd really be supportive of me finally getting a tattoo..."

"A  _soulmate identifying tattoo_. Not one you got from a parlor!"

"Course I'd get it from a parlor, it has to look authentic!"

Saihara throws his hands in the air. "So, what? You're going to—to tell Kaito that you're his soulmate and—and—"

Ouma hums. "So far I'm aiming to just mess with his head, but if things turn interesting, I don't mind getting special treatment. It'd be nice to get dinners I don't have to steal, or flowers which have special meanings behind them. Nishishi, I already have a bouquet of begonias, ambrosia and yellow carnations on standby—except they've all withered by now, but I bet that means something, too~!"

Saihara takes a moment to sit down and process all this. True, Ouma would do anything for a prank, but this is just taking it  _too far._  He knows that both of his best friends haven't gotten their identifying tattoos yet—it takes time for some people, because the Universe is never that decisive. But it's their differing views that have Saihara so on edge.

Ouma doesn't like the idea of it, plain and simple. He's one of the few hoping to never get a soulmate, or at least one that doesn't buy into the whole instalove deal. It's true that soulmate-romances, like arranged marriages, have a fifty-fifty chance of working. But a guy like  _Momota_ is always betting on a fifty percent that works out for him. Namely, an instalove deal.

Except he's expecting someone nice, or cool, or decent. Preferably a girl.

Not Ouma. Definitely not Ouma, even if he  _was_  a girl.

"Hey Saihara-chan, do you think I should ask him out, wait for his reaction and then tell him? Or should I wait a bit, drop some hints and  _then_  tell him, and then wait if he'll ask me out? Which one will have the bestest reaction d'you think~?"

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Don't worry about it," Akamatsu tells him as they have dinner, as Saihara picks his food. "Sure, Momota-kun is big on the whole soulmate thing, but c'mon! He's not dumb enough to believe Ouma. He'll think it's one of his pranks, for sure!"

"Ah, you're right..." Saihara's smile is awkward. "It's just—it's a really big deal for Kaito. Even if he doesn't believe Ouma, I'm scared he'll get mad enough to try and  _kill_  him for real."

"Oh, I sure hope not. That'd be really bad."

Saihara nods (and flushes a little at the encouraging smile Akamatsu gives him) and actually starts to enjoy his meal when his phone rings from the coffee table. He ignores it, until it rings eight more times. "Just—let me get that."

"If it's Hoshi tell him Iruma's fixing my phone!"

"Got it," Saihara says. He checks his messages and pauses at the text glinting in his screen:

 

**Kaito:**  how do you know a tattoos real

**Kaito:**  shuuichi

**Kaito:**  hey

**Kaito:**  hey

**Kaito:**  hey

**Kaito:**  hey

**Kaito:** hey

**Kaito:**  hey

 

Saihara frowns and types:

 

**[user]:**  A soulmate tattoo?

**[user]:**  If it's fresh it should feel like a burn. And it should be embossed by uh at least a millimeter. Like embossing a name in the inside of a wedding ring. And of course it should appear out of nowhere... not from a parlor.

**[user]:**  Why, is one starting to appear for you?

**[user]:**  Wait why're you asking me? I thought you already knew?

**Kaito:**  just

**Kaito:**  checking

**[user]:**  Oh ok

**[user]:**  Are you sure? You can tell me you know.

**[user]:**  Wait is it me?

**[user]:**  It's fine if it is! Polygamous-soulmates are a thing, course that doesn't have to happen but Kaito you shouldn't be scared if it's me or Kaede-san.

**[user]:**  Unless it's Iruma-san

**[user]:**  But it's probably not

**[user]:**  Right?

**[user]:**  Kaito?

 

Saihara stops typing whatever he's typing and stares. The worst case scenario plays right in front of him and suddenly the guilt comes thrashing in tenfold. Ouma swore him to secrecy but even Saihara's not  _that_  horrible of a friend.

 

**[user]:**  Look, Kaito.

**[user]:**  WHOEVER you have as a soulmate, I just. Need to say that Ouma's

**[user]:**  Going to prank you tomorrow and pretend to be your soulmate

**[user]:**  He's got an actual tattoo FROM THE PARLOR

**[user]:**  So. There it is.

**[user]:**  Please don't kill him.

**[user]:**  Even if he is your soulmate okay just pls don't

 

He doesn't get a response for a whole minute. "Everything alright?" Akamatsu calls from the dinner table, and Saihara tosses her a look that says otherwise. Then his phone vibrates in his grasp.

 

**Kaito:** nah hes not my soulmate

**Kaito:**  and i'm not gonna kill him

**Kaito:**  im gonna romance the fck outta him

 

Saihara stops breathing.

What.

" _What_ ," he says, out loud, raising his voice to a level that's utterly rare for him. Then he calls Momota and repeats the same exact word, in the same exact tone, because seriously,  _what now_?!

" _Look, I knew he was going to pull something like this,_ " Momota says oh-so casually, with a tinge of annoyance. " _What better way to mess with me than to pretend to be my soulmate? Course I was kinda worried he'd actually have me for a soulmate, that's why I checked the symptoms with you—I didn't wanna trust online sources that much—but since you confirmed it's a prank, I'm resting easy tonight!_ "

"But—I don't get it. You're not mad he'd try something like this?"

" _Course I'm mad! But now I'm one step ahead of him! I hardly get to do that!_ "

"And you're," Saihara stammers, "going to  _romance_  him."

Momota sniggers. " _Yeah, I'm going to make him regret pretending to be my soulmate. I'm going to treat him to all sorts of stuff; buy him one of those mixtapes, maybe some flowers, box full of party poppers._ "

"And you're alright with that?"

" _Fight fire with fire, man_ ," his friend says. " _I'm going to be so sweet he's gonna get cavities and die from them!_ "

As Momota continues rambling about ideas, Akamatsu places a hand on Saihara's shoulder. There's a look to her eyes that says she already knows what's going on, but is too afraid to say it out loud.

Then Saihara gives her the phone, which leads to a full five minutes of Akamatsu giggling her head off.

"I can't believe those two idiots are going to _ruin_ the  _sanctity_  of soulmate identifying tattoos," she says once Momota hangs up. "Is it bad that I kind of want to... spy on them? To look after them of course! But, also. Well."

"I-I don't blame you. But if Iruma gets word of this—"

"Oh no, I won't let that happen. At least, not after I get some blackmail material."

Saihara gives her a look.

"You know Kaede-san... you're kind of scary."

To her credit, Akamatsu looks sheepish at that. "I hang out with scary people," she says. "But don't deny it, Shuuichi-kun, it'll definitely be an interesting scene! Those two finally getting along, even if it's for fun."

"But they're not just going to get along, they're going on a  _date_  together," Saihara says. "I can't even begin to imagine what that could look like!"

"Me neither," Akamatsu admits. "But we can always send someone to look after them. Since we've got our own date tomorrow."

Saihara's eyes widen. "Ah, that's right!" He should probably double check their reservations. And if the cafe will be open. And if the weather will be good tomorrow. Alright, calm down. It'll be fine.

It'll be fine.

Maybe not for a certain pair but, Saihara hopes the Universe will be kind tomorrow.

 


	2. Soda Poppers And Their Stalkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good relationships are fostered with supervision.

"I'm surprised you agreed to this," Shinguuji says.  
  
Shirogane glances his way. They're semi-crouched behind a wall not too far from the door to Momota's apartment. They've been there since eight that morning—such was their dedication. Coffees in hand and bagels steaming, they wait.  
  
"Of course I'd agree! This is entertainment at its finest!" Shirogane rubs her hands together in a manner that can only be termed as 'evil'. "Besides—it's not like I had other plans except make more commissions and catch up on  _Ainori_. Aahh, it's so nice to watch romances blossom!"  
  
"I would hardly call this a romance," Shinguuji chuckles.  
  
"Hm, you're right. Plainly speaking, Momota-kun and Ouma-kun are more likely to have a kismesissitude..." She looks at him then, eyes still sparkling. "What about you, Shinguuji-kun? You didn't have any plans?"  
  
"My sister is busy, though Angie-san and I agreed to meet up later tonight. She's currently at a stall selling on-the-spot artworks of couples—though in retrospect, I should have told her what I'll be up to today." Because honestly even  _he's_  interested in Momota and Ouma's relationship, and how two supposed rivals could've remained friends for so long. (Though he imagines that if the two were to ever be together, he'd be booked out for counseling sessions.)  
  
He finds it  _fascinating_ , the whole idea. Where else would he find such a twistedly hilarious non-romance between non-soulmates bent on one-upping each other? It is, as Shirogane described, entertainment at its finest, and a highly valuable learning opportunity.  
  
"He's coming," Shirogane whisper-shouts, and the two inch further behind the wall as Ouma skips to Momota's door. He knocks, whistling off-key, the print on his arm visible (he's wearing a sleeveless shirt, black with some design, as casual as someone could be on Valentine's. He doesn't have chocolate with him.)  
  
The door opens. They watch with bated breath.  
  
"Huh? What're you doing here?"  
  
See, he and Shirogane know the  _plans_. They know Ouma's plan and that Momota knows about Ouma's plan, and that Ouma doesn't know that Momota knows, or that he and Shirogane know, and neither does Momota—  
  
But the point remains is that he and Shirogane are like moviegoers with the privilege of dramatic irony. (And that they know.)

So they watch fervently as Momota plays dumb, as Ouma bends his arm to show the cursive print of Momota's name just inches away from his armpit. "Holy shit," Momota exclaims, probably shocked at the lengths Ouma went to have it tattooed rather from a lack of prescience.

"Unfortunate, isn't it? But hey, at least you know who you're meant to be with for the rest of your life." Ouma laughs despite his next words, "I  _totally_  understand if you want disown me—even though I'm your meant-to-be—but for instalove sakes, won't you treat me to lunch? Some soda? Alimony~?"  
  
"Ouma-kun is  _cruel_ ," Shirogane whispers, though her tone betrays her enjoyment.  
  
"What—alimony?! Look—just—" Momota slams his mouth shut and just stares at the other's grinning face. Probably channeling his inner anger and letting it drive his acting, which is working so far. "I don't believe you," he finally says, crossing his arms and looking down at the other defiantly.  
  
"You can feel it if you want."  
  
"Oh my god," Shirogane breathes.  
  
"I'm not gonna manhandle your fucking arm," Momota snaps.  
  
"Okay," Ouma says. "Bu~ut then it'll be all your fault. Silly Momota-chan, who rejected his soulmate on Valentine's Day." He sniffles, head turned away like an actor in a soap opera. "And after you've been looking for so long..!"  
  
Even from where he hides Shinguuji sees the vein pop on Momota's forehead, that's definitely not from a conscious acting choice. "Yeah, well," Momota starts, before looking away. And then slamming the door shut.  
  
Expression blank, Ouma rocks on his heels for a whole minute until Momota reemerges with a whole new outfit; black jacket, red shirt, jeans with the ends rolled up and—a can of  _Panta_  in hand.  
  
"I'm taking you out," he says with summoned nonchalance.  
  
Ouma tilts his head. "Oh? What made you change your mind? Did you... finally realise your feelings for me?"  
  
Momota is one vein away from punching the shorter male, Shinguuji can tell. But what happens next draws a sharp breath from both him and Shirogane; namely the sight of Momota bending his knees, ruffling Ouma's hair like it's a dishcloth for his dirty hand.  
  
"Of course,  _soulmate_. It was only a matter of time before your shitty face became likeable." Momota's tone is sugary sweet when he adds, "Why don't I take you to the convenience store and buy you a ton of  _Panta_ , yeah? Course, you gotta drink this one first."  
  
He offers the soda can to Ouma, who gives him such a _look_. Shinguuji knows what it means after observing the shorter male for so long.  
  
Ouma is wary, and quietly assessing. Because it's clear from Momota's words that he doesn't believe Ouma for a second. Which is something to be expected. But the fact remains that he's  _willing_  to play along. A fact that Ouma's picked up and decided to run along with too, if the way he accepts Momota's soda is any indication.  
  
"Whoops," Momota says as soda spills all over Ouma's hands, "must've shaken it too hard when I got it from the fridge. But hey, waste not want not!" His lavender eyes narrow. "So go on.  _Drink it_."  
  
Ouma says nothing as he meets the other's gaze. Without breaking eye contact, he takes a long, long sip.  
  
Which Shirogane quietly takes a photo of.  
  
"For posterity," she mouths to Shinguuji, who's raised a brow at her actions (even he's not that—what's the word, intrusive?)  
  
"Ah~! That was nice!" Ouma returns back to a grin as he wipes his hand shamelessly on Momota's face—whose grip on Ouma's scalp visibly tightens. "But let's go, Momota-chan, you can massage my head later. You  _really_  need this whole day to impress me as your soulmate. Oh! And I also brought you flowers, but they needed more sun so I left them by the pavement outside. Nishishi... I think you'll really like them though~"  
  
"That's great," Momota says. The gritty tone to his voice says otherwise but he follows Ouma anyway, down the stairs towards their supposed day of romance.  
  
... Interesting.  
  
"Iruma's going to  _freak_  when she finds out about this," Shirogane says, gliding to her feet. "Come on Shinguuji-kun, we can't miss this! I want to know if it'll be a plain chick flick romance development or an kismesis-instalove deal. Or not even instalove, maybe there's an arc to it too. Aahh, I want to find out! Let's go!"  
  
So he lets her drag him out to the last couple of stairways, just in time to catch Momota staring at his bouquet of withered flowers.  
  
"Definitely an arc," Shirogane supplies thoughtfully.  
  
"Definitely not a simple romance," Shinguuji supplies as well, even as he watches Momota pretend to dote over his present.

 


	3. Convenience Store Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good relationships are fostered in a controlled environment.

"So what's the game plan?" Shirogane whispers to him.

Shinguuji glances at their 'subjects' who waltz into the convenience store outside Momota's apartment complex. Typically he would state the obvious answer ( _"Why, we would have go in and maintain eyes on them whilst avoiding detection"_ ) but he knows from conversations in the group chat just  _who_  typically mans this particular convenience store.

"We could try the honest route," he finally says.

Shirogane balks. "Y-You don't think Harukawa-san will kick us out for that, will she? Maybe if we buy some stuff... She can't kick us out if we become her customers..."

Shinguuji isn't afraid of Harukawa. (He thinks she's all bark and no bite, and the times she does bite it's often a mere threat, or a thrown object). But it would be bad for them if they were spotted by anybody in their social circle, so going in would be a risk. But from someone they can call a spy...

He looks at his blue-haired partner with calculating eyes.

"Text her," he says.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Harukawa did not expect this today of all days.

She's long since accepted her lack of a romantic relationship—not only is her soulmate a poker-playing shortie who'd rather spend his time with cats (thank God), she's never been into the whole dating thing. Sometimes she has trouble understanding why anyone would... and the pair of  _idiots_  in her store is just another example why.

"You're not being serious," she says.

"C'mon Harumaki, why don't you believe me? This guy here," Momota jabs a finger at Ouma, of all people, "is my soulmate, and I wanna treat him. I know you've got beef with each other but strike up a truce just for today, alright? The great Momota Kaito can't go back on his word now!"

"Yup! I feel  _so_  special right now!" Ouma crows.

Harukawa eyes them with pursed lips.

"This is a prank, isn't it? There's no way you," she addresses Momota, "would ever go on a  _date_  with  _him_. Unless you're being blackmailed... If that's the case, I can be of help."

"Geez, I'm not being blackmailed! I just wanna take care of my soulmate!"

"You say that word a lot," Harukawa points out. "' _Soulmate_ '." In fact, he hasn't said Ouma's name ever since he set foot into the store (nor let go of a withered bunch of flowers). "Look," she sighs, "you don't have to owe  _him_  anything. Just ignore him, or feed him to dogs. Or, let me handle him."

"I'm right here you know," Ouma sniffles, somehow trying to curry favour with her even though Harukawa's made her mind up about him a long time ago. Harukawa looks pointedly at Momota, but all the taller male does is offer a diplomatic smile.

"Harumaki, I promise. Let him stay just for today, I swear I'll keep an eye on him. Plus I'll be buying a shitton of soda which is, uh, great for business and that!"

"Momota," she grits out. It's not the first time  _he's_  tried to curry favour with her (and usually it works) but she can't simply put aside her grudge for Ouma so easily.

The staring match continues until Harukawa feels her phone buzz.

She checks it, a finger pointed up to signal the two idiots not to run from her divided attention.

 

_**Shirogane** _

**Shirogane:**  Heyyy Harukawa san

**Shirogane:**  So momo and oums r there

**Shirogane:**  Yep we know!! Shin and me r spying on them fr the rest of the day

**Shirogane:**  Cept we dont wanna be spotted! Soo

**Shirogane:**  Can u spy for us? PLS??

**[user]:**  No. I'm kicking them out.

**Shirogane:**  I can make a deal

**Shirogane:**  Mint condition weapons from Otakuthon

**Shirogane:**  Shurikens swords kunai

**Shirogane:**  Limited edition sickle from Mayonaka Zero

 

"Aw, I feel like a kid who wants to play outside but can't cuz his mom's too busy watching  _If You Are The One_ ," Ouma whines.

"Just go already," Harukawa suddenly says, not looking up from her phone.

 

**[user]:**  Fine.

**Shirogane:**  YESSSSSS >:D

 

"I want no trouble, understood? Otherwise," a dangerous aura emits from her stone-cold gaze, "both of you won't be safe from me."

"Got it," Momota says, a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead.

"Double got it," Ouma cheers.

Harukawa watches them run off and wonders if she's just made a mistake. If those two really are... soulmates. Or if it's another stupid scheme Ouma's concocted to ruin Momota's life, because he's not above that. Harukawa's seen him outside the store, skipping merrily to the apartment complex where Momota lives just to terrorise him again and again.

Curiosity gets the better of her.

 

**[user]:**  They say they're soulmates. On a date.

**Shirogane:**  Oh not realy. Theyre trying to outdo each other by playing along

**[user]:**  So it is a prank.

**Shirogane:**  KINDA?? But pls dont call them out! :O Look unsuspicious and relay whats happening k?

 

Following the bluenette's words, Harukawa tries her best to 'look unsuspicious' as she surveys Momota and Ouma from the corner of her eye.

 

**Shirogane:**  What r they doing now??

**[user]:**  Crowding around the fridge.

**[user]:**  Somehow it's taking them a while to buy Ouma's stupid soda.

**Shirogane:**  Can you hear what theyre saying??

 

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," Harukawa mutters to herself. Shirogane had better keep her end of the bargain.

It's not hard to eavesdrop on the two idiots. One, they're louder than anyone else in the store (a woman buying  _giri-chocho_  and some local ten-year olds playing 'hope warriors' or whatever). Two, Harukawa's trained herself to have supersonic hearing, to better detect the ripping of chip packets or guns cocking—whichever becomes an immediate threat to the store.

So far the conversation she hears goes like this:

"But I don't know if I want my go-to original  _Panta_  or this super duper cool limited edition  _Panta: Orange Burst._ Wait, what's this? Hey, hey, it's a new flavour!  _Panta: Vanilla Ice_! I didn't know it could come in vanilla."

"How about," she hears Momota say slowly, as though on the verge of imploding, "I buy you all of them. Every single flavour. Because."

"Because? Because I'm your what, Momota-chan~?"

There's a pause. Harukawa can see them both from where she stands behind the register: the little shit Ouma staring up at Momota with waiting, amused eyes; Momota's back turned to her but his posture definitely strung with tension.

Harukawa's phone buzzes.

"Wait," she mouths as she types up a reply—until she sees Ouma coming straight at her.

"Harukawa-chan," he coos, folding his arms on the counter. Harukawa quickly tucks her phone in her pocket and crosses her arms. "Hm, still don't like me huh?" Ouma says in mock-disappointment. "That's predictable but totally unwarranted. After all I helped expose security weaknesses in this store! You should really thank me, this place is super secure now because of me!"

"You  _stole_  from here," Harukawa feels the need to point out.

"See! Security weaknesses!"

Harukawa narrows her eyes. "Do you want to be killed?"

"Do you want to drive away an innocent customer?" Ouma says breezily.

"You should be thankful there's a glass barrier separating me from your face," Harukawa grits out. Then she remembers why he's in the store in the first place. "Shouldn't you be getting back to Momota?" she says. "If what you said about a date was true."

Hold up, where  _is_ Momota?

"It's true alright," Ouma says, hands behind his head. "In fact, Momota-chan's really pulling the stops for our date. So much so that he's willing to put your friendship at risk!"

What? Harukawa doesn't have time to process the bullshit in his words when she realises that it's not bullshit, at all, because a flash of purple suddenly dashes out of her store at the speed of light, carrying things that  _have obviously not been paid for_.

" _You_ —" she stammers.

Ouma's cackle drowns her confusion.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"She's not replying back to me," Shirogane says, worrying the skin on her lip as she stares somewhat pathetically at her smartphone.

Shinguuji shakes his head and stops his observation of a nearby couple enjoying a stroll. Ah, the socially-accepted ideal of soulmates, one that Momota and Ouma are currently trying to disprove in their own fascinating way. And he knows this because the events that follow henceforth are proof of that—

—namely the sight of Momota storming out of the convenience store, cans of soda wrapped loosely in the makeshift sack of his space jacket, Ouma close behind him madly cackling "Sorry Miss Store Lady~!" as they dash down the street with Harukawa hot on their heels.

He and Shirogane stare after them.

"What," the cosplayer says, "just happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure." And yet Shinguuji cups his cheek, watching Harukawa stop in her pursuit of their subjects. "However, I think we can safely say that Momota-kun and Ouma-kun's date is off to a good start."

 


	4. The Stroll of Misters Petunia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good relationships are fostered in conjuction with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update is massively late. That's what I get for starting a DanganRonpa SYOC (though I'm having a blast with that one). Hopefully I can update some of my other fics soon!

_ **Akamatsu** _

**Akamatsu:** Hey Shirogane! How's it goin?

 **Akamatsu:**  Are they behaving?

**[user]:**  Momo kun stole soda from harukawa san's store

**Akamatsu:**  YOU'RE KIDDIGN ME

**[user]:**  And Ouma kun is over the moon~ pun intended! :3

**Akamatsu:**  I cant believe Momota kun would do that!

**Akamatsu:**  Its sweet in a way! But he stole from Harukawa san...

**[user]:**  Not only that

**[user]:**  Oums made him open a can of panta

**[user]:**  And cuz they were running the panta fizzed up and blew all over Momos face

**Akamatsu:**  That

**[user]:** They make a GREAT couple

**Akamatsu:**  I... dont think they would last long if they were.

**[user]:**  All the more entertaining! >:33

**[user]:**  Sry gotta go subjects are entering the park for a stroll!

**Akamatsu:**  Ooh scandalous

**Akamatsu:**  Make sure they don't break any laws!

 

 

* * *

 

 

Momota and Ouma aren't the only ones who decided to stroll in Big Tenshu Park; all sorts of couples roam around the large green expanse, admiring its mass of flowerbeds resplendent in roses, tulips and ambrosia, specially red-hued for the Valentine's occasion.

It's fascinating, flower symbolism. Shinguuji still remembers what a few flowers mean (especially in their current age of adopting Western nuances—though that practice seems limited to their ever quirky city.) He finds it intriguing how ambrosia flowers, which symbolise mutual love, are a part of the bouquet Ouma had given Momota earlier ago. (A bouquet that Momota still carries with him out of spite.)

It's intriguing because the rest of the bouquet laughably contradict the ambrosia—begonias for caution, and yellow carnations for the rejection of love. The more Shinguuji dwells on it, the more it makes sense for such a confusing array to have come from such a tricky person.

"Momota-kun's exhausted his anger," Shirogane says from beside him. They're spying from under a tree just a few metres from the pair, the bluenette munching on her  _jibun-chocho_  as she uses her phone camera as binoculars. "They actually look civil from this angle. Still, I can't hear what they're saying. I wish we could get closer..."

"We don't want to risk it." Though Shinguuji wouldn't mind some audio to compliment his observations. He appraises the pair's body language amidst the language of physical love, affection and admiration around them. Couples holding hands, walking with shoulders touching, exchanging affectionate kisses; some more distant, weighed by recent disagreements, obligations or fatigue, but nevertheless comfortable by each other's side. Shinguuji can see that in Momota and Ouma.

... In the sense that Momota's resigned himself to a plan he probably didn't think through, while Ouma continues to poke and prod his long-lasting subject of entertainment.

"Do you think they'll do the same for White Day?" Shirogane asks him. "Go on a date, I mean. Plus it's the perfect day for Ouma-kun to con Momota-kun into giving him truckloads of  _Panta_... though I guess in a traditional sense, it would plainly be Ouma-kun's turn to reciprocate." She puffs up a cheek. "Though he'll probably cause more trouble for Momota-kun. And himself! He's already tattooed himself just for today!"

"I wonder about that," Shinguuji muses. "Ouma-kun has never liked the idea of soulmates... Or perhaps, the idea that his would be decided for him."

"Huh? What are you saying?"

Shinguuji shakes his head, smile creeping on his face. "Forget what I said, Shirogane-san. I was merely contemplating Ouma-kun's intentions, which are never conclusive in the first place. But... we should get back to our observations. It seems both of them are trying to 'look the part'."

"What does that mea—oh my God," Shirogane gasps, as they watch Ouma bow before his supposed soulmate like a man about to be knighted. They're far in the distance but Shinguuji can faintly hear Ouma wax poetic about his supposed love for the other.

Then Momota showers him with fizzed-up soda, making Ouma choke and making Momota grin in mischief.

"He's not," Shirogane starts, as Momota opens more soda cans.

"He is," Shinguuji says as Momota chucks the soda-bombs at Ouma, who staggers in the onslaught like a deer in a shooting range. He's fake crying and couples around them look in shock as the two cause a scene in an otherwise lovely park.

Shirogane looks needlessly happy.

"Now  _this_  is entertainment," she says, camera clicking as she takes countless photos of the pair's folly. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm glad Ouma-kun came up with this prank!"

As commotion burns around him, Shinguuji can't help but note the utter enjoyment on Momota and Ouma's faces—the latter especially, despite his cries for help and ambulances.

Close by, two co-workers follow the path.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It'd been a surprising turn of events when Yumeno asked Tenko to go grocery shopping. Granted it's for business purposes (nope all business—get your head out of the gutter!) but Tenko feels giddy all the same. Yumeno rarely initiates these sorts of things. Usually she just gets Tenko to order stuff for their magick shows but this time must be different. Is it cuz it's Valentine's? Does Yumeno have a Valentine's magick show prepared?! 

Now they're walking in a park, grocery bags dangling heavy on their arms (Yumeno offered to carry the lightest bags—she  _offered_  to risk her skinny miracle-making arms to take the burden of business shopping and Tenko doesn't know if that's a development or not—)

"Yumeno-san," Tenko says excitedly. "Yumeno-san, look! The fountain is decorated with flowers! Uwah, and the butterflies are coming out to celebrate too. Is it mating season? This feeling of love in the air is too intense for Tenko! It's nothing like the rush Tenko feels when doing stunts! Do you feel it too, Yumeno-san?!"

"Huh," the mage says.

"Yumeno-san," Tenko whines. "Look around you! Can't you appreciate this? Couples strolling happily, soulmates having found each other and enjoying the rest of their lives... even if most of them involve lying, cheating  _men_ aces."

Yumeno pokes her ear with a finger. "Naa... It's just a day out. People do that all the time." And just when Tenko starts losing hope, the mage smiles a little crescent smile and adds, "But I like the chocolate-giving. Did you know? With enough mana... I can make chocolate  _disappear_."

"Really?!"

"Yep, I just have to look at it and it melts on the spot. Or in my stomach. But after a while I run out of mana. When that happens... I drink milk like a good girl."

Tenko nods eagerly. "Milk is good, Yumeno-san! We should drink milk together! Do you—do you want to go for milkshakes?! Tenko knows a good place! They have raspberry flavour!"

Yumeno stops in her tracks.

It's not from the sudden revelation that Aukawai Cafe sells raspberry milkshakes. No—it's the fact that two  _men_ aces dare to walk on the same path as them! Which isn't uncommon... but this  _ceaselessly bickering duo_  is a special case.

Tenko falls into stance. "Excuse me! What are you  _men_ aces doing here?!" As she speaks her curiosity blossoms because why  _are_  Ouma and Momota hanging out together? Is it a trick?

"Yeah," Yumeno says with a very effective duck-lip pout. On any other time Tenko might have commended her co-worker for standing up to a  _men_ ace but right now Tenko's confused—because contrary to popular belief Yumeno and Ouma have a good working relationship and unless Ouma's slated the pair of them for last-minute party planning, Tenko doesn't know why Yumeno's got a drenched cat aura. Actually, Ouma and Momota  _are_  drenched cats. What's that fizzy artificial smell?

Ouma laughs. "No need for the third degree, you two! If you're so curious, ask my  _soulmate_  here."

What.

Momota looks like he was flayed twice in the pits of Hell and wants Ouma to meet the same Fate. Which must be why he's smiling a scary smile and clamping a hand on Ouma's head, fingers straining to crease every brain cell from the shorter boy's head. Ouma chokes.

"He's  _my_  soulmate. Totally not the other way around." Momota explains, "We're on a date right now cuz Ouma asked and space legend me can't break hearts on Valentine's Day. That ain't manly at all!"

Tenko looks at them. Separately and together. In all the months she's known them, she's never seen them like this. She's never seen them work together and _not_ work together, together, at the same time.

She leans to Yumeno.

"Tenko thinks it's a trick," she whispers frantically to the mage's ear. "There's no way that's instalove and Momota-kun looks like he wants to kill Ouma-kun. That's abuse!"

Yumeno harrumphs. "We should leave. I don't want them bothering us."

Tenko blinks. "Yumeno-san? Did Ouma-kun make you angry?"

"It's not that..."

"Hey lovebirds, what're you whispering over there?" Ouma cheekily calls out. Momota's hand clamps tighter. "I mean—we should  _really_  get going. I'm hungry and Momota-chan's treating me to lunch like he treated me to  _Panta_. Haha! Let's hope he doesn't dump that on me too~"

Momota tears a laugh. " _Yeah_ , no promises there."

"This must be a high-class illusion," Yumeno mutters.

"That's right! There's no way the Universe would pair these  _men_ aces together! The Universe doesn't want humanity to fall to doom!" Hands raised, Tenko resumes her stance. "Stand back, Yumeno-san! Tenko will take care of this threat!"

"Momota-chan, you're not being a good boyfriend," Ouma meanwhile says.

"Wh- _What_?! B-Boyfriend?! Don't lie about that!"

"But we're  _soul~mates_."

"Bullshit! You and I both know this is all just—!"

"Excuse me?"

The voice belongs to a smartly dressed woman who somehow thought it was sane to approach them. With a blush Tenko straightens, the bags on her arms threatening to topple her over. Yumeno glances casually while the two quote unquote soul _men_ aces stare at the stranger with looks of confusion.

The woman scratches her cheek. "I'm sorry to... interrupt, but can I interview you two?" she says politely to Tenko and Yumeno. What? "It's for an article I'm writing. For Valentine's Day, focusing on same-sex couples. Is that alright? I can keep you two anonymous if you like."

"Oh, we're not a couple," Yumeno says. Like she isn't breaking Tenko's fragile heart.

The journalist frowns. "Are you at least soulmates?"

"N-No, but we're friends!" Tenko says.

"Nishishi, don't bother with them! You can interview  _us_  instead!" Ouma folds his hands behind his head and adds, "Momota-chan and I are first time confessors and this is our first time date. It's going pretty well~"

The journalist blinks. "First timers? That's wonderful, congratulations! How was that like?"

"Horrible," Momota says.

"Everything I could have dreamed of," Ouma says. " _And_  more!"

"Uh, I see..." Tenko sees the woman take note of Momota's hand ( _still_  on Ouma's head, the  _men_ ace's hair weirdly slick with something grape-smelling). "I take it you're not instalovers?"

"Nope," Momota says. "But, cuz I'm so great and all I'm giving this guy a chance. Consider it part of my astronaut training! Working in a team with potential jerks like him," he slips his hand off to slap Ouma repeatedly on the back, "is a challenge only I can overcome! You got that?"

The journalist hums. "I see! So this is a pity date on your part?"

" _Woah_ , hey now," Momota stammers.

Meanwhile, two stalkers move in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Oh my God Shinguuji-kun, she just asked a killer question!"

"Quieten down, Shirogane-san," Shinguuji says to her. The two are currently crouched behind the florally-decorated fountain with only a grand statue as cover. A mere three meters away from their 'subjects', they look rightly suspicious to passersby.

"That's just as well," the journalist continues, finger perched under her chin. "For starters, you two don't look like the type of people who want to force a relationship based on soulmate relations. And you don't...  _look_  like a couple."

"Haha! I knew I wasn't the only one!" Tenko crows. "Isn't that right, Yumeno-san?"

"My arms are getting tired," the redhead whines.

"Ah, Tenko can carry those bags for you!"

"So what, you thought we were friends?" Momota asks the journalist.

"I don't know?" she says. "You had your hand on his head and it looked painful for him."

Ouma sniffles. "Momota-chan abuses me..."

"N-No I don't! Don't lie to a journalist! That's illegal or something!"

"Don't lie? That's hypocritical of you~"

"BURNNNN," Shirogane half-whispers, half-hisses with a scary amount of schadenfreude. Shinguuji updates his personal notes on her mental state and continues watching the scene before him.

"I'm sorry but you clearly don't like each other. Actually, it seems like you're only doing this to torture him," the journalist says to Ouma, "while you," she says to Momota, "well... you look like you want to prove something."

Ouma cackles. "Hey lady, you're pretty smart! Do you think Momota-chan's got self-esteem issues because he sucks at trying to beat me at my own games?"

"Screw you!" Momota snarls. "And you!" he barks at the journalist, "what makes you think I can't land a skinny little shithead like him? Not everybody can put up with how high maintenance he is! Man, I should get a medal!"

"I think I'm your medal," Ouma says in that sincere-insincere way Shinguuji's come to be fascinated by. From how Tenko and Yumeno cringe though, it seems they feel differently.

Speaking of Tenko and Yumeno, Shinguuji makes a personal note to catch up on the two later. He's interested in how a 'friendzone', as Shirogane puts it, has affected their relationship. Anyhow, Shinguuji wants data from other couples to qualitatively compare Ouma and Momota's relationship to.

So far Shinguuji would term it 'dysfunctional' (Shirogane tagged it as a 'rivalry ship', whatever that entails). However images of the pair escaping with convenience store  _Panta_  and causing ruckus in the park throwing said  _Panta_... begs to differ. At least when Shinguuji recalls the comfort it brings to the pair.

Even now he can see that in them. Arguing with barbed compliments and straining to gain the upper hand. A routine. A _comfort_ despite it all.

Whether that's from years of petty squabbling is something Shinguuji has yet to conclusively confirm.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look more rivalry
> 
> This won't end badly at all
> 
> :D


End file.
